Success is Getting Back in the Saddle
December 5, 2009 by Lisa Call
Taking a Break
When I left for South Africa at the end of July I had the intention to continue to write blog posts on makebigart during my month long vacation.
I had a list of topics for the posts I would write while gone and one day near the beginning of the trip I even spent an hour or so working on a draft.
And then reality hit me – I was on vacation and I loving relaxing and taking a break from doing stuff all the time. I decided to drop the idea I needed to WORK on my vacation and just relaxed and had the most amazing time. I didn’t even get around to writing blog posts about all my adventures as I was staying in the moment and just enjoying the trip.
It was fabulous.
My intention was to jump right back into art and blogging and art business stuff upon my return in late august, well rested and relaxed.
Life Happens
Life had other plans for me and upon my return home there were 3 significant changes to my life that threw me off course:
1) My mom was sick and in the hospital out of state. Now 3 1/2 months later, and a tremendous amount of time and energy from myself and my siblings, my mom is now living in Denver near me.
2) My project at work was canceled, resulting in a very stressful 2-3 month transition. We are just now hitting our stride on a new project and things are settling down on that front. (I work as a software engineer as my day job).
3) I met a wonderful guy and started a new romantic relationship.
The result was little to no studio time or art business time, including writing blog posts. MakeBigArt and my entire art career were just dusty memories generating guilt in the back of my mind as I focused on the issues at hand.
All sense of balance was gone. When I wasn’t dealing with my mom or work, I was getting to know my new boyfriend.
There was no “me” time at all.
Thoughts of Failure
As time marched on and I still wasn’t motivating myself to my studio I began to sink into the feeling that I was failing. Feeling my art career was trashed and makebigart should just be shut down as I clearly will have lost all my readers after a 5 month break on a brand new blog.
It’s easy to fall into this trap when we get off track. Since things aren’t perfect today might as well just give up all together.
I’d set an intention to work on my art or write a blog post for makebigart, and it wouldn’t happen. Priorities were elsewhere so my focus went elsewhere. So back I went to feeling miserable about it all.
Success is Starting Again
I’d like to say I never had those thoughts as I know better, but I did.
Fortunately, I also had a voice in the back of my mind that kept reminding me that success isn’t about not failing, but about continuing to move forward even in the face of failure.
I’ve now reached a point where I believe I can start getting back to a consistent studio and writing schedule.
While my todo list is still a mile long for thing that must be done for my mother, it no longer includes things like “pack up house, move all belongings to Denver”, which require full time focus and energy.
There is still the issue of balancing relationships (I now have a boyfriend and a mother to fit into my life on a consistent basis) and there is much work that will be needed on that front and will certainly be the topic of future posts.
But there is light at the end of the tunnel and I feel like any minute I could break free and make it to fresh air. I might stumble again before I reach solid ground but I know where I’m headed and if I fall off course again I’ll take a deep breath and keep going.
And this is success.
- My readers to makebigart will return.
- My art career will be fine, if I don’t turn a profit on my art this year I will next year.
- Contacts I had been cultivating will either reconnect or be replaced by new.
- Any missed opportunities will be quickly forgotten as I recreate new ones.
Taking a break isn’t failure.
Not getting back up and starting again is.
How-To’s
I’d love to include a recipe for how to get back up again after such a break.
Something like “The 12 steps you need to follow to regain your focus” as these are the types of blog posts that generate big readership.
Thing is I don’t have the answer. I can tell you a few things I’ve done or could have done, that might help.
1. Exercise
In the past 3 months I’ve done almost no yoga or any other physical activity. I have no doubt had I made it a priority to do yoga at least 3 mornings a week and gone on walks I would have felt more balanced. I didn’t, but my advice to anyone going through a stressful time is to try to find time to do this. I knew I should, but just couldn’t get there.
I do know that unless I fit yoga back into my life each morning I am unlikely to return to a studio schedule, as at this point it’s a top priority for me.
2. Diet
I ate a lot of really crappy food the last 3 months. Lots of chips and dessert and general crap. Before I left for African I had removed sugar from my diet.
Fortunately the stress won over the bad food and I’ve lost 7 pounds since my return from Africa (where I managed to gain 5 pounds in 1 month in my decadent vacation eating) so I’m about even on the weight.
I’m now much more aware of what I’m eating and know that a significant weight gain would have added to feelings of failure.
3. Self Care
In the past 3 months I’ve had a couple massages. I’m contemplating signing up for a monthly massage to make this a routine. Nothing beats pampering for a sense of well being.
4. Sleep
I’ve had an extremely difficult time sleeping since my return home. The stress and changes in my life resulted in some unpleasant and bad sleep habits. When one is sleep deprived it’s hard to make good decisions or feel positive about life.
I admit to being extremely reluctant to address this issue in my own life, but I do know that had I gotten some help sleeping things would have looked up a lot quicker.
5. Battling Depression
There were days and weeks in the last month were I lacked all motivation to do anything and the future was looking grim. Add up the numbers and depression is the word most likely used in such situations.
I went back to my acupuncturist for help in this area and I swear it is truly magical. Your mileage may vary and other forms of help for depression may be needed (from therapy, which I also participate in, to medication).
There is no reason to be depressed. Acupuncture may not be cheap but my mental health is of primary importance and worth every penny of it.
6. Get Help
My todo list was miles long when we realized we needed to move my mom out to Colorado to live by me and I’m the type of person that rarely, if ever, asks for help. This time around I had no choice. While I didn’t reach out often, the few times I did I was always met with a warm reception and helping hand.
Lightening the load can free up some time for exercise or a dip into the studio.
7. Spend Time with Friends
I’m slowly reconnecting with my friends and know that the time spent with those I care about is very healing and inspiring. When one is too busy to make art it’s hard to imagine how finding time for friends will help, but it does, by helping us reconnect with what is important to us.
Spending time with friends that share our passions is a wonderful way back to those passions.
8. Feed Your Soul
When things are bad, I turn to a few people that have magical uplifting effect on my psyche. For me the book Eat, Pray, Love
Wrap Up
How have you re-focused after a significant break? Any tips you can offer? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
I invite you to become a fan of MakeBigArt on facebook:
MakeBigArt.com fanpage – I’ll be sharing additional tips and comments on facebook throughout the week and writing longer articles on the blog.
In addition you can also find me here:
My Blog
On Twitter
Facebook Profile
Lisa Call – Textile Paintings Fan Page
—lisa
Thinking Big about Art
Lisa, I’ve been anticipating your return to the blogging world and the world of art and creativity. I have read your past posts and I was excited to see this one. You have done a wonderful job the last 3 months, at least from what is presented here. You made it through in one piece, that is plenty. You are right when you say that we have to stop “beating ourselves up” when we have human things that come up that take us a little off from what WE believe is the course we are following. I have come to know there is a bigger road map than “our” plan. Your list is EXCELLENT, and I would agree with all of them, the times that I have had aspects of this list fall off I too have suffered. Diet, exercise, adequate sleep, self care, and feeding my soul are top on my own list. Changes in our lives bring about emotional shifts and those are very complicated. Hang in there! You are living your life and you are right where you are supposed to be. Blessings and welcome back!
Amen Lisa. I feel closely aligned to the “How-To’s” except…depression. The way I think about Depression is that it comes when you’re not doing what you love to do. For me, it tends to be situational. My family has a history of depression. I’m 100% all about acupuncture, but, please see a healthcare professional if you cannot get out of a funk and have thoughts of offing yourself. I’ve never experienced that depth of despair, but I know others who have.
I made a major change this Fall by eating whole foods: no sugar, caffeine, or white stuff and limiting alcohol & it is the best thing I did for myself this year. Exercise is also a HUGE component to wellness and having increased energy in all areas of ones’ life. Seven months ago I started a new exercise routine. I’m now working out 4x/week with lots of endurance, stamina, coordination, balance, nutrition and flexibility. I never thought I could feel this great at 49.
Sleep is another dirty word. Menopause sucks. Even w/taking prescribed holistic supplements. I’m better than I was 3 weeks ago. But each night presents a new challenge.
We women must be vigilant in knowing ourselves and knowing how to stay healthy and mentally well.
2 days ago I wrote that I was off-focus in my artwork. Then I wrote that it coincided with my 91 yr old mom breaking her wrist. Sometimes you get side-swiped. That’s OK. Just get right back up.
Yesterday, I sat drawing/doodling while mom watched “Deal or No Deal”. I felt satisfied that I could be with her and feed myself a little. When my mom is better, then I’ll be back in the saddle.
Keep it up Lisa. Love your blog and your work.
Lisa! Please know that you are a continual inspiration to me, and I always am in awe of all that you accomplish. You’ve had many major life things happen in the last year, and here you are, back in the saddle again – WooHoo! Your list is a great one, sounds like you have a plan. I know I’ve written in the comments (either here or your main site) before that for me, I’ve found that I need to go ahead and do the thing that’s bugging me if I’m stymied in the studio…and a nice cleaning/organizing session there is another head clearer. Although I’ll be that the majority of your readers are right here waiting for you, if you’re feeling pressure to get more content on the blog…refer to step 6! I know that there are plenty of bloggers out there who’d love to do a guest post (although you may not at all be into letting go of your content, I totally understand that too). But it is a possibility…
Anyway, I hope your having a wonderful weekend in the studio – and how nice it is to have your mom nearby and a new boyfriend – 2 new folks to share works in progress with!
Lisa,
I’m glad you’re back! I totally agree that failure is in not starting again, not in the time spent away. My mother fell two days ago and broke her arm, so she is staying with me and my plans for the next few weeks have been quite changed. But you help me know that I will get back to my creative work because it is part of me and will never go away. Thanks for all your inspiration!
Hi Lisa! I love your work! Please don’t think you are unsuccessful if not working on your art. Success is being able to flow with life and you seem to have done that brilliantly. And you have a new beau! Enjoy!! the work will come when it’s time!
Lisa
Thanks for your honest, mindfulness and for sharing your story. I think your integrity will win out and this will be the foot hold that brings you all the success you want.
Your blog post is a wonderful gift to anyone who has suffered the feeling of ‘everything is trashed, I’ve failed’.
I think that feeling is a window for us to redefine our passion and refocus.
Looking forward to discovering your work and reading more of your blog.
Regards
Roisin aka creativedynamix
Hi Lisa,
You rock! You inspired me to get on with the ‘business’ of art and helped me set up my Fan Page on FB … You are an inspiration and with all you’ve had to deal with, bravo on your comeback.
I don’t get depressed, but I do wonder if things will get better sometimes. The only thing I can do is hang in there and hope (for now). I realise that times are hard for all of us at the moment, so I just try to stay positive and look for alternative strategies for next year!
Good luck and it’s nice to have you back! =)
Welcome back Lisa! you haven’t lost this reader! It is wonderful to read your calm, thoughtful, honest and common sense words again. You inspire me. Thank you!
Lisa, you have been such an inspiration in your blog and in your art. As an older person, I would like to interject one thing. Failure is a very unproductive word, and I truly don’t believe it exists but only in our minds. What has happened to you is life. Never easy, never expected, but always full of opportunities for growth. Please, don’t beat yourself up about the unexpected course of your art experience. Your plan to get back on track is wonderful, just keep your mind thinking positive and life will take it’s turns to more productive times. Congrats on your new relationship, glad your Mom will be near and hoping that she is OK, happy to hear your day job has stabilized.
You will not be losing this reader any time soon!
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Lisa your list and blog comments are always timely for me. Just what I needed to hear/read. Seems to me your life experiences inform your art in a positive way even though it may not seem so in the short term. I always look forward to your posts no matter how long between them. Your readers are here.
Welcome back Lisa,
You certainly haven’t lost this reader either!
My personal take on the ‘falling out of the saddle’ issue: external productivity is wonderful, yes. No question about that. But internal shifts, even seismic ones, are equally essential to our long-term artistic existence. Sometimes we get thrown off the clear path because there are deeper, trickier, but ultimately more significant issues we are coming face to face with. Fallow periods – those seemingly dead stretches, where inspiration/motivation/effortless energy are all just dim memories – often turn out to be nothing more than a pause before a new wave of work begins. Our progress is not necessarily linear. At least, mine certainly isn’t!
I’ve learned to trust, and breathe, and pay attention during the difficult patches. It wards off the panic.
I think you are doing just great. Your new studio schedule may not look like your old one, but it sounds like there are other gifts in your life right now that require attention. I’m sure you’ll find a balance for it all.
Hi Lisa,
I’m glad you’re back. I almost always feel your posts contribute directly to my own life process. Your openness and honesty about your struggles with balance resonate with me the most of all your blog topics and I really appreciate you putting yourself out there like you do. It makes a difference. Welcome back in whatever form that takes.
“…my entire art career were just dusty memories generating guilt in the back of my mind…” – All because of time off. To deal with life. Is it not amazing how quickly we do this to ourselves? Bravo to you for recognizing this as nonsense!
One of the things I’m learning to do when I derail is to write about all the garbage swirling in my mind. Once that’s out of the way, I write about what I’m going to do, how I’m going to do it, what obstacles may be in the way, listing ways I can go over, under, around or through those obstacles, accepting the limits that may come with said obstacles. Journaling helps to calm the hateful voices/thoughts and refocuses me on where I’m going and WHY. I also write a gratitude list for what is going right, what I can do, etc. to remind me there’s good even in the worst of moments.
Balance – as necessary as oxygen, ever changing and ephemeral.
Welcome back!
Reading your list made me realize that each person has their own way to rejuvenate from a stressful time. What I usually need is lots of unstructured, quiet, uneventful time to just let things happen. When I get too busy I need to reconnect with my self and with spirit. So time alone is a way to do that.
Hi Lisa, glad you’re back! I absolutely agree with you. You just have to get back in the saddle. I had a hard time with that last year and the beginning of this year. I got married in January and I was so excited and obsessed with wedding planning in 08 that my art got neglected. Then it was hard to start again because even though I was happy to finally be married it was a little sad that all that planning after 13 months was over so quickly. I think it was in March or April that I finally got back to my art. Since then my production has been pretty consistent.
Thanks for reminding about Eat, Pray, Love. That book is wonderful, and I need to pick it up soon. I need to work on the exercise too. It really does make you feel so much better.
Looking forward to more of your posts :)
Congratulations for getting back into the saddle! And for sharing your experience. We all go through those breaks, forced or intentional, and yet it’s so easy to feel alone, as if no one else has gone through such a thing. Thanks for your excellent reminder that life happens and it doesn’t mean failure.
ARgh!@!!!! (Wrote this long thoughtful, meaningful response only to accidentally erase it before sending!!!! Let me try to paraphrase……)
Excellent post Lisa; I can relate to much of it. The past 6 months I believe I’ve been depressed due mostly to a terrible end to what I had thought was a fantastic relationship. It’s funny, my art took less of a hit as it was the only thing that I could throw myself into and still maintain an ounce of self-esteem. My professional life as well as my personal life crumbled; I felt as if I had “loser” tattooed on my forehead. Most days are better now, and I’m getting my feet back on the ground.
I agree with your remedies: exercise, diet, I self-treat with acupressure (no substitute for the needles, but better than nothing). I would also add that for me, meditation has been very helpful (massage can give you a form of meditation, too). Although I’ve never previously been big on affirmations, the Louise Hay book, “You Can Heal Yourself” has been very helpful and in some ways eye opening. Don’t agree with everything there, but amazingly helpful to me.
Congrats on starting to get back in the saddle again!
Everyone has times in their lives where things balance in a way contrary to how they would like. The trick is to learn from it and move on (easier said than done right?!). Your art is wonderful and you have great discipline, so I am confident that you will be able to work out a compromise where you have time for your art and the people you care about. I find that the little steps help us make room for the bigger things to happen. Besides, while being a huge time commitment, a new boyfriend is a great thing, right?! And what a great trip you got to go on. Remember the good things when you start to feel down.